I'm leaving again.

the dynamic duo divides

Got the stint at Germany, received my ticket in the mail today, I depart Friday next week and return to Canada (hopefully) two months later, after a job brilliantly done.

It's funny... Germany was one of those places I never thought I'd see in this lifetime.

Stef, I really want to visit London and spend time with you and Bob (and Fanny too, somewhere) but I have to check and see if I can afford the stop-over. If there's no guarantee that I'll see you, I don't think I want to go through the trouble of trying, honestly.

Okay, so the company I'm working for is covering my travelling and lodging costs and I'll be paying for everything else. I will receive a monthly salary for my work there so it's quite an excellent deal on a round trip to Deutschland. I'll be opening a solo exhibit of my work in Europe, a continent I've never set foot on and I'll be in the company of Johannes who I trust as a true friend and look up to as a mentor.

I should be very excited about this... But there are matters I'm dealing with right now that make it difficult for me to feel that end of the emotional spectrum.

This, to me, will be a hermitage, time alone in the wilderness with my spirit guide. I hope I discover something there that will give me the focus that's eluded me since I entered my twenties.

Fuck. There are so many things I want! I feel like a brat on the lap of God, weeping, complaining, begging... when, really, I've got it so good.