genuine smiling

Yup, that's me waiting for my turn to audition for Canadian Idol. Pics up in my phlog.

It was very early Sunday morning, I was so nervous, I only got 3 hours of sleep and it seemed like the whole time, I was shivering - whether out of cold or fear, I couldn't tell anymore. Fortunately, everything closes on Sundays over here and the only people in the mall were auditioners and their guests. I was in there with my Aunt and Sister.

We lined up and since the wait was a little long, I got to know the guy beside me wearing crinkled white leather pants, an 80's inspired blue and white leather jacket covered in zippers, a leopard-print women's blouse torn open at the chest, and black eye liner drawn as a teardrop down his right eye. His name (I think) was Eldron. He was from Muncton, New Brunswick, the map of which was tattooed on his right forearm. I thought he was the coolest person there and I was jealous of him because he didn't look nervous at all. I asked him why he was joining the competition and he said something like, "For fun. Just for the sake of doing something crazy. Besides, I'm 28 and this is my last shot." Later on, my sister pointed out to me that this was the guy we'd seen at Reflections (a gay dance club) wearing a red halter top, dancing by himself on the floor. Saka ang kilay.

Tier one. We were made to audition in groups of five, singing one by one in front of a judge in a trailer. I sang 'Jealous Guy' by John Lennon and I felt kinda crummy 'cause I was so much better in the shower. I thought 3 of the people in there were great though. They would certainly have passed American Idol audition standards, especially Eldron who was not only a good singer but elaborately dressed. However, only two people were asked to stay, me and this other girl who sang "Son of a Preacher Man". I had to sing again. I did 'Freedom' by George Michael. Heheh... Yeah, that was me appealing to the gay gods... The guy cut me off towards the end and said, "I like the way you ended 'Jealous Guy'. You've got a great performance presence but you rushed the song." Soooo, no I didn't get in, didn't even get to the celebrity judges but guess how I felt when I walked out of the trailer:

Great! I felt so great, totally relieved and ecstatic about the fact that HA! I WENT FOR IT! Of course, I'd be more excited if I made it through and got to be on TV but as far as I'm concerned, I did better than 'good enough', I kept my promise, and I found my courage again. It's not everyday I step through one of my fears. I feel triumphant.

So that's my little Canadian Idol story.

Oh yeah, that Eldron guy drove by us at the parking lot in his big van. He rolled down his window and said, "Hey, guy! Congratulations!" I said, "Thanks but I didn't get in, they said I sang too fast." "What? Aw, don't listen to them. Alright, take care now!" and he drove off. Minor crush dayon. Hahahahaha

Today is April 11. That means I've been in Canada a month. So far, I'm not disappointed at the progress I've made but I must admit to feeling depressed. You know, the whole 'there's no point in getting out of bed' thing... Sos, I'm just lonely and scared. But I'll rant about that some other time. Fortunately, it's my sister's turn to use the PC and I have got to get ready for work.

Miss you all, as if that wasn't obvious enough. Take care.